you don't gotta go home, but you can't stay here

This past weekend, Rob and I were both in the wedding party of our dear friend Lawrence and Miss Sarah.



This wedding, might I say, has been a long time coming. I will spare you the details of that 'long time', to keep the private parts of Lar & Sar's life off the internets (And also because I think Sarah reads this, hey girl hey.) But I feel the need to say, Lar & Sar do a damn good job of putting ALL their personal business out on the street themselves anyway (re: anything having to do with Larry's package). So I'm not feeling too bad about having this whole post unravel from there ...









We started the weekend well with a rehearsal at the GORGEOUS Mulberry Art Studio.









We did the usual put your hands here, you stand there, ("Oh my goodness, you are on the groom's side?"), now you walk with him, and you walk with her, ("Awww, you're walking alone. Are you okay with that?"), and then we smiled and discussed possible impending snow storms before heading to a local brewery (shout out!) for the rehearsal dinner.







Saturday morning found us with feet (plural) of snow on the ground. Luckily Rob and I could make the walk to the wedding location without having to brave the roads by car.










We made our way to the dungeon with the other groomsmen and Lar and started to get ready. Sarah had gifted Lar with a bottle of Jagermeister (that she requested Larry take one shot of and hand the rest to Rob).

Proceed to Larry being unable to get dressed by himself (hey, give the guy some slack, it was his wedding day) ...



(Amidst the madness ... Tibbins loses a button off of his suit, Larry gives himself a wedgie while putting his suspenders on, Nikki puts on her second set of tights (after putting a hole in the first set within 5 minutes) only to find they were made for little people, Larry takes two more shots of Jager plus a shot or two of Parmer's whiskey stash)

And the day continues ...

The photographer takes some photos of the grooms' party inside and then outside in the snow. Flowers are pinned onto suits. And then guests start to arrive. Tibbins and Parmer usher guests to their seats, while Rob and I hang around with Lar downstairs.

And then, 5:25pm. Ceremony starts in five minutes. And I say to Lar, "Hey man, have you seen your minister?"

Damn. Immediately I regretted asking. First and foremost BECAUSE LARRY KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT THIS WEDDING. This isn't an exaggeration my people. Or a knock on Lar. Tell the kid everything looks great and he replies, "Oh, I didn't do it. My job was just to show up and get married."

So I knew right away asking him this question would just get him amped. "She better be here! She had plenty of time to get here! And if she brings her DRUNK of a husband, there will be hell to pay!"

**Cue Larry taking shots of wine**

Alright, welllll, we sorta need the minister. And by 5:30 (show time), no one else was too worried. I spend five minutes looking for the site coordinator (who is chillin in her office eating a nutri grain bar), to inquire about the status of the minister.

She says, "Oh, she left at 4:30pm. She should be here sometime soon."

HEY! NEWSFLASH: It is show time. Damn, chick was calm, cool, and collected munchin on that apple nutri grain bar.

"Well, could you please give me the minister's number so I can check on her status."

Nutri-grain says, "Hmmmm, it appears we don't have her number in the paperwork."

**Cue me sticking my head out the door of the office to see Lar trying to take another shot of wine from the bar and my telling Rob, "regulate him!"**

I breathe. I tell Nutri-grain we will need to look the number up online then. So we pull up to her desk. She opens Internet Explorer and says, "Ok, what do I do from here?"

I give a blank stare. I blink a few times. I travel somewhere else momentarily in my mind. And then I come back to present moment.

Let me spell this out for yall, Nutri-grain doesn't know how to operate the internets. Let that soak in. Ok, proceed ...

I give it two minutes of my instructing her on what to hen peck onto the keyboard before I say, "Do you mind if I try it out?"

I find the minister's number, and I make the call.

"Hi, (name omitted to protect the guilty). This is Nikki, I am Larry and Sarah's groomslady. I was calling to check in and inquire about how far you are from the ceremony location."

"Oh hello", this lady sounds soooo calm and coolio right now (I'm guessing its her alcoholic husband that is driving), "we are about 15 minutes away. We will be there shortly."

I'm all like, "Oh. So you mean you'll be here around 5:50pm? Because the ceremony was to start 20 MINUTES ago, my people."

Coolio says, "Well, let's shoot for 6pm."

Ooooookay.

(I suppose by this point it is a minor detail to offer that amidst all of this, I had called one of my good friends who is ordained. He was willing to come out and officiate the ceremony had Coolio and her sidekick, Al, been unable to make it. So shout out to that cool cat, who is always down to ride. You know I adore you.)

I exit the office to let Lar know there is nothing to worry about. The minister will be here in just 15 short minutes. Well, Lar wants a discount. I say, "What a thrifty man. No, but really, calm down. And wipe your wine mustache off."

It's 6pm. The minister is here! (And Sarah's sister is crying in the hallway. And Becky and Les (the bridesmaids) are having an intense discussion with Coolio outside of the bridal suite.)

I say, "Can I help you guys with anything?"

**Cue Larry screaming down the hall and POINTING (yes, pointing) at the minister, "I am getting a discount!!!" And Nikki yelling again, "Regulate him!"**

Coolio, who isn't so calm and cool anymore, is stone cold fierce right now.

Let's not mince words here. Sarah thinks the marriage certificate is in the car (back at their house in Lititz.)

Oh.my.lah

Coolio/stone cold killer is not having anything to do with this ceremony until we have the marriage certificate.

What seems like centuries of madness later, and not until we calm Larry down, does he tell us that the car is out back and the marriage certificate is in it.

I run down the stairs, into the snow (have a near fatal slip on the ice), dig through Larry's car in the dark (the old Buick doesn't have an interior light), and FREEDOM!, we have the certificate.

We walk down the aisle. Sarah looks gorgeous. Larry bawls like a big baby (he really is just a freaking teddy bear), the ceremony goes without a hitch, and Larry & Sarah are officially married.

The rest of the night was a blast.








Lar & Sar have their first dance.















We enjoy the mess out of each other ...







And we dance the rest of the night away ...










I send all of the best wishes, positive energy, and love possible to Larry and Sarah as they continue on the journey of life. Now sharing that journey in a new way. In many ways this ceremony was such a striking example of their relationship. It has been bumpy. It has been chaotic and uncertain. But it is a relationship filled with determination and hope. And my wish is that you felt the genuine love and support from your friends and family on your wedding day as a reminder of what we have been sharing all along.